Anything and everything that crosses my mind…
“I am”. These are undoubtedly the two most powerful words. For what words follow them define you as a person. They become your reality. They become the mirror that reflects up to what depths you have discovered yourself.
I’m glad that all the bloggers out there are answering this million dollar question in their most creative and unique ways. Well I was going to settle with a line( like we’ve been asked), however I don’t think I’ll be doing justice to myself if I keep the poem unheard.
I am the girl next door with that peaceful look
resembling a sea so calm.
Battling countless raging storms within
floating on surface with grace and charm.
I am a constantly traveling soul with books worldwide
with a gloriously messed up brain.
Willing to devour every second of this precious life,
my forever wandering heart I can barely contain.
I am the moon that shines oh so bright
yet quite lonely in the dark
while the stars tease from miles away
dancing on clouds like upbeat glowworms.
I am my favorite architect
for I build myself each day.
Feeding on knowledge and wisdom
keeping my conscience from darkness away.
I am my worst enemy. Savage. Poison.
That deliberately ruins some of my days.
Giving in to anger and frustration
taking it out on myself in the worst possible ways.
I am that fiercely independent person,
who needs no companion or savior to survive.
Yet who laughs, wails, loves and hates with no regrets
watchfully keeping every emotion alive.
In the world where ruthless assassins await
to tame the souls as they please.
I refuse to give up my freedom of choice
and enjoy the adventure called life while mystic moments I seize.
While appearing for a job for the very first time, a couple of months back during our pre-placement training and mock interviews we were constantly given certain guidelines so as to frame a perfect answer to the question- “Tell me something about yourself.”
We were asked to start with our academic background and recent achievements, followed by family background, accolades and some other details. Even though I never objected to the format laid by them, I was constantly torn between being my real self( who is more of a dreamer than a realist) and someone who would nail the interview( by hiding all those things about myself which I was actually proud of). It felt gross when the trainers kept repeating the line that in order to bag a job you need to “sell yourself”. But isn’t that what we are used to doing ever since childhood? Trying to please our parents, teachers, friends and even strangers in the society.
During all this time while we are trying to please others by being not ourselves, but someone they would adore, we forget who we really are. We pretend to be someone else for so long that the skin we have climbed into sticks permanently and refuses to be removed. While making sure that others feel comfortable around us, we stray away from our own company.
Am I an introvert? egotist? Nah, I am a person who refuses to be intimidated by the world. I don’t make friends easily because I believe that peer pressure can destroy you as a person. Constantly being surrounded by people who mock your imagination just doesn’t suit me. Even though I am polite to everyone in general, I hardly enjoy the small talk. At times I enjoy loud music and crowds where I can’t hear my raging thoughts. And at times I pine to stay in solitude, where I can have the company of just my thoughts. Yes, I find myself confused and lost at times but I love the chaos that I am.
I am a person who does not take much pleasure in going by the stereotyped rules and beliefs. Despite of being warned during the mock interview to stick to my technical strengths and speak nothing but of academia, I spoke of my love for poetry and shamelessly admitted the fact that I enjoy reading literature more than my core papers. Even though there was a slight fear of being rejected, there was a sense of satisfaction and self-respect. It might have been an incidence of meager importance then, but it ultimately helped me in understanding the purpose of life. It’s all about finding your true self and being that person whether the stereotyped society approves of it or not.
Now, this is how I would describe myself in one line-
“I am a wild and troubled soul with a messed up mind who refuses to be tamed by the world out there.”
How could I ever turn disloyal,
when the love we share is meant to be eternal?
I’ve always been yours to elate,
for nothing compares to the way you unashamedly satiate.
Perhaps you are annoyed for I haven’t composed a sonnet for you,
but regardless of that my feelings are nothing but true.
I promise to write endless poesies at your praise,
setting my turmoil and reticence ablaze.
Your first stare pierced right through my heart,
claiming my brain and soul from the very start.
Your sultry touch burning into my skin,
mixing with the blood and rushing through my veins akin.
Fondling my senses with recherche passion,
professing me as yours with mutual discretion.
Humans with their plasticity seem to me like statues of wax
and soulfulness is what the appeal in them lacks.
And hence I’m all yours to devour,
since you have allowed me to feel your soul beyond the contour.
You will remain the only one who will ever have the right
to impart pleasure or pain to me with all your might.
With every passing day I feel our kinship flourishing,
your grip on my soul ever so slightly tightening.
I wish to live a thousand lives with you,
sharing our grief and mirth like we always do.
Waking up each day to your warm embrace
while my fingers travel promptly through every leaf they trace.
You are the drug that keeps me alive,
and despite of ceaseless brutal attempts of humans I strive.
They say I should disentangle myself from your tenacious grasp,
but little do they know that nothing in the world can loosen your clasp.
I want you to be my only worshiped obsession,
traveling the world together with elation.
Nearing the end of my life lying on my deathbed I would bless
and ask you for the promise to comfort another equally needy damsel in distress.
As the veil lifted off the earth their sight caught hold of a blooming rose bathed in mist. Its color the shade of red same as that of a martyr’s blood. Fierce. Warm. Ozzing pride and passion. A mere bunch of delicate petals, having the tenacity to take one’s breath away. Taking pride in its beauty and power the flower blooms to the awe of her spectators, daring them to question her splendor. For she says that if loved with a true heart she will devote her life to beautify the world of her admirer. And if she is threatened by someone burning in one’s own spleen, she will wait for the moment to laugh over his corpse, seated over it like a mighty queen!
As I opened my eyes to the rain lashed streets right outside my balcony, the smell of damp earth pouring in, birds chirping with ecstasy, the breeze carrying some magic, some madness…I realized that there is so much to fall in love with…in a thousand different ways. Over and over again. There is so much to be grateful for. So much to write about. So much to be inspired from. A perfect morning 🙂
The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2015 annual report for this blog.
Here’s an excerpt:
A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 1,100 times in 2015. If it were a cable car, it would take about 18 trips to carry that many people.
As the tradition goes I sat pondering over my to-be resolutions on the New Year’s eve, while flipping through the leaves of previous year’s journal. As it lay there open and inviting I could not resist the temptation to go through each and every page in the utmost details trying to relive a few of the exuberant moments while patting myself on the back for all the times I succeeded in the tests laid for my patience and perseverance. Last year was an unrealistically salubrious mixture of good and bad experiences. And however badly I might have cursed my fate during those hardships I now feel that they were necessary. They HAD to happen to help me build the person I am NOW. A few hard but right decisions, persistence even when the going got tough, showing calmness on the surface even when the storm deep within kept getting worse day by day; while I was trying them I learned that it is not that bad as it seems. Believe me when I say that I started enjoying it after a while. When life throws at you unfortunate and ugly challenges at a breakneck speed and you start looking at the world through your ever moist eyes, life may not look that beautiful and worthy. But it is. It is as beautiful as it was always meant to be.
A short time back as I was battling through my furious mood-swings and never ending nervous breakdowns I looked at life as a burden I had to carry; breathing a mere compulsion. Right before our placement week, a couple of months back my body gave up and I suffered from the kind of fever that was not getting down even with the loads of pills I took. I had stopped talking to people and I could not ask for help. I could not share my plight and that was literally taking me down. I did not narrate what was going on to my own father who happens to be a doctor. I was feeling confused, frustrated and pathetic all the while. But my decision to persist still makes me happy beyond measures for I would not have been rewarded had I given up and did not even try. I am sure it was a test which the almighty had planned for me to appear. Before this I had never experienced any genuine challenges. Tough times I mean. Life had always been a bed of roses. No health issues, no family problems, no personal problems. I actually LIVED my life in these 4 years of B.Tech life. It seemed like life never got tired of throwing stones at me. And in an attempt to answer back I took up habits that magically helped me drown my sorrows for short blissful moments, however made me feel more pathetic and empty deep down as time passed by. Here is a plea for all the youngsters out there- never take help of alcohol, smoke, drugs or other such harmful stuff to overcome temporary states of misery. They corrupt you of the beauty of your life, they corrupt you of the most beautiful human emotions, the innocence you were born with.
Each and every experience in itself is benign. All of them are worth experiencing. As I am writing this I am smiling to myself. That wicked smile I had never smiled before. For now I feel that I am starting to understand the rules of the game. The only rule for the game of LIFE is- “There are no rules. I make my own set of rules and I have the complete freedom to break them, distort them, redefine them as many times as I wish.” I have the right to commit mistakes for if I don’t I’ll be living the same year of my life over and over again. And no doubt that would check my growth and creative ability. And ultimately the purpose of my life would be lost. Do I want to live the same year 75 times or more and call it a life? Well the voices ringing in my ears are screaming NO a thousand times. And ignoring my inner voice while I so obediently lay my ears to the rest of the world with patience would be the most unintelligent decisions I would ever make.
What life is it to have not experienced all possible human emotions? Not having the courage to risk your bed of roses to get a view of the world out there. The taste of your own warm blood gushing out of the flesh ripped apart. The music played by the strings of your own heart. The touch of magic and madness of nature. The smell of nostalgia.
No doubt I would encounter situations that would not always be in my favor. I may not always be able to win in each and every walk of life.I may stumble while walking through rough times. I may not have people always by my side to take care of me. I may fall, I may get wounded, I may cry like a baby, I may feel helpless and tired at times. But will I stop living? NO. That is how this game is played. No matter what, you gotta keep moving or you would lose. And who exactly wins in this game? Well all of them win who COMPLETE the game. They may not always be at their best. But if they keep going even when they are drained out of all the energy, that counts.
I already am hearing a thousand applauds, people screaming out my name in unison in the stadium I call my life, for I have played brilliantly they say. I see myself in peace, for I have made my presence count. I see myself content, for I have acknowledged the essence of life. So my only new year resolution this year is to be myself and keep playing my level best. However demotivating the audience becomes I would not quit the ground. Tons of bricks they may throw my way for I don’t try to fit into their stereotyped rules and expectations; I will create a mansion so magnificent and beautiful that even the wisest of them would doubt whether those are the same bricks I used to create my dream home that they had thrown with the intention of bringing me down. My stand will be firmly rooted for my inner voices would overpower those of the critics. MY VOICE is all that I need to hear. If the crowd cheers along, great! And if it doesn’t, even better. All that matters is I keep playing no matter what. I would not quit the game of life!
People who are used to reading my blog posts on a regular basis must be wondering what kept me from writing in the past month or so. Well my blog is no doubt my first love but then I also have to devote time to the field I am married to, that is Mechanical Engineering. Responsibilities have to be taken care of, while allowing my heart occasional walks in the kingdom that it belongs to but does not get to stay in. Anyways before I am once again circumvented by my flooding emotions lost in the incessant battle between whether to give priority to my field of study or the activities that keep me alive (reading and writing things that are not mechanical), I must get down straight to the purpose of this post. While my internal exams were going on, a couple of days back I felt a strange urge to check my indiblogger account. Well it may merely be a coincidence but you guys can not possibly think of how it made me feel when I stumbled upon the indi-mail sent by Miss Jose from “Potpourri of my life” who had nominated me for the Liebster award!
A big thank you to Miss Jose for this honor!
I truly appreciate the way she writes. Apart from being a beautiful person, both inside and out, she is a proficient writer who writes about almost everything- fashion, travel, cooking, health, photography and so on. I request my readers to breeze past her blog and enjoy her valuable write-ups. So here goes the details about this award. Enjoy!
The questionnaire is what makes this award all the more special, since it allows the budding bloggers to interact and share stuff that ultimately ignites the interest to explore and know more about the people of our kind- the people who value writing.
So here I go with the replies to the questions asked by Miss Jose :
1) What is your aim when writing a blog post?
Ans- Well, I have been writing poetry since the past 5 years. But they have always stayed in my journal, unseen, unheard. This one being the last year before I enter the corporate world I felt that it is high time I started sharing my write-ups with people who genuinely value writing and can help me improvise. So for now my only aim while writing a post is to manifest my thoughts and imaginations in the best way possible so that I attract people to my writings who give me constructive feedback on how to improve my pieces of poetry or simply the way I write the articles. I not only want to share my thoughts through poetry but also want to polish my writing skills. That is what I write for.
2) What are your 3 top must-have items when traveling?
Ans- A good Classic which can be read as many times I feel like, i-pod or phone to listen to music and my journal (well, this I can not live without).
3) If money was not a factor, what would be your dream job?
Ans- Well my dream job is to be a Copywriter at an advertising firm, which I am intending to pursue a couple of years down the line. But if you say that money is not a factor I would like to simply be a poet.
4) What is one piece of advice you would give to someone who has never traveled before?
Ans- The very first time one may feel a little bit uneasy and restless but the key to enjoy a trip is to keep your mind off the small things that bother you during the journey and take in as much beauty and singularity of the place as you can. And of course, travel light. This is a piece of advice I think all Indians should seriously consider. Especially the mothers.
5) If you could do anything to make this world a bit better, what would it be?
Ans- Helping women tied in the chains of backwardness in the name of culture and traditions break free and pursue dreams of their own. Also,I would publish my journals so that the aspiring students of Mechanical Engineering, especially the girls, learn from the regular motivation and pep-talk I kept giving myself in these four long years of B.Tech and prepare themselves beforehand for the challenging life they are yet to encounter. Being in a class of remarkably contrasting ratio of girls to guys, you have to teach yourself a million things in order to survive. And this applies to women in general, not just in India but worldwide. You have to fight for your rights, you have to keep yourself calm and composed in all situations, you have to take stands, be fearless and compete to the best of your abilities so that no one tells you that you are not capable of something just because you are a girl.
6) Who / What inspires you ?
Ans- My elder sister Sudha Sashwati Sahoo. She has been inspiring me ever since I came to this world. She has been more than a sister to me. A responsible guardian, teacher, motivator, friend and of course a successful person both in her personal as well as professional life. I love her for what she is. I love her for what she has made me.
7) When did you catch the travel bug?
Ans- Well I guess I can not do justice to this question yet. I am still a student and since both my parents are working I never got to travel long distances. Have never been outside the country. But have seen most of the parts of India. These were the trips we took during the summer vacations. Haven’t caught the travel bug yet.
8) Are you city, country or a suburb type of person?
Ans- City it is. Even though people keep advocating the necessity to be in touch with nature which becomes impossible in city life there is also an essence that one would not find elsewhere but the cities. City life is fast and fierce and that is what I live for. I live for the high, the rush. People don’t sleep in the cities. They are always engaged in something and that is what life is meant for. To do, to live.
9) Do you collect anything? If so, what?
Ans- I collect different types of pens. Frankly speaking, I don’t seek pleasure by collecting these. I’m not even genuinely interested. I don’t even remember when I started throwing them in the carton.
10) Whats the most difficult about blogging for you?
Ans- Blogging is not just about writing stuff but it also requires socializing and thinking from the perspective of the reader, which I don’t do much. But I’m pretty much sure that I’ll overcome this with time. I’ve already joined the Indian family of bloggers and I guess it would not take me long to get familiar with the amazing people and their blogs. The journey has just begun.
My Nominees are :-
1) Mukulika – https://mukulikamusings.wordpress.com/
2) Nandini – http://www.sartorialsecrets.com/
3) Arpita Dash – http://shinningappy.blogspot.in/
4) Rose Perez – https://poetrummager.wordpress.com/
5) Rakesh Pandey – http://theopalmoon.blogspot.in/
6) Shravanthi Kripa – http://shravanthikripa.com/
7) Cinderella – http://cindrellaforever.blogspot.in/
8) Suryateja – http://www.lifetipspro.com/
9) Ninu Nair – http://ninu-nair.blogspot.in/ –
10) Satya – http://traveljunkiesatya.com/
There are five basic rules:
1)Thank the nominator
2)Display the award
3)Nominate 10 more bloggers with 10 new questions
4)Answer the questions provided by the nominator
5)Notify the nominees
And here are the questions for my nominees. Hope we get to know each other better after we complete the process 🙂
Q1) What is your favorite book and why?
Q2) What are your hobbies?
Q3) What is your current profession and what is your dream profession?
Q4) The happiest moment of your life.
Q5) Define success.
Q6) If you were granted three magical wishes what would they be?
Q7) If you were given a team to work with you on your book and were offered every possible help, what would you write about? Title of the book would be?
Q8) What kind of a person you think you are? (Introvert/extrovert/ambivert/anything else)?
Q9) What according to you is ‘love’? Try and define it.
Q10) What is your favorite thing in life? It may be an activity, person, place or just anything.
Eagerly waiting for your posts!
Lots of love,
In today’s frantic world entertainment is sine qua non for leading a stress-free and serene life. In the world of cut-throat competition people have become very specific about their choices. Choices that can save their precious seconds. Choices that are efficient, flexible and come in handy anywhere, anytime they demand. One such smart choice for the smart people in today’s world is Tata Sky+Transfer which has come up with features that are exactly the need of the hour. It is undeniably going to change our ways of de-stressing through entertainment by making it easy to carry anywhere and everywhere we go.
Since people these days are very much used to living the high rhythm lifestyle one cannot ignore the urgency and inevitability of de-stressing. Be it in the form of yoga and meditation, working out, gardening, hanging out with friends, taking up adventures, watching current news, sports, movies or TV shows or simply cuddling on your bed with piles of pillows and blankets and treating yourself with a good English Classic. No doubt there are numerous ways of relaxing and relieving one’s stress but the most popular and consistent stress busters for all age groups is entertainment. And now we have a news exclusively for the TV serial and movie lovers who crave to get their jobs done as soon as possible so that they would not have to miss their favorites on TV. Believe it or not now you can have TV in your smart-phones, that too without internet.
Yes, it is no more a hazy dream but has become a reality. Carrying our favorite TV shows, movies, Tennis, Football or Cricket matches in our phones and watching them whenever we choose is definitely going to impact mostly the youth of our society, giving us the freedom to choose the content and time that suits our schedules. With the launch of Tata Sky+ transfer transferring the recorded television content from the set top box to smartphones has become possible, giving the subscribers the freedom to store the content they wish to watch later at their time of convenience. It is a godsend gadget for the modern day people who don’t want to miss out on anything despite having enough fish to fry. People often miss out live shows, their favorite movies and TV shows because they cannot keep their eyes fixed to their LCDs at homes, doing nothing. But now they do have an option.
Well aware of the zillion ways in which a smart phone makes a smart person’s life easier the researchers are working on ways to agglomerate all the basic necessities of one’s life into one’s phone. Examples are widely known to us, namely e-banking, e-shopping, e-books and umpteen apps that aim on making life easier by making it possible for us to access things irrespective of time and location. Tata Sky+ transfers entertainment of our choice to our inseparable companions, our smart-phones. And most importantly all this does not require broadband data connection. It comes with a Wi-Fi dongle that enables consumers to enjoy recorded content on smartphones and tablets without consuming Internet data. All we have to do is download the Tata Sky app in whichever device we want to transfer the content to be watched later. To top it off, the subscribers can give a command to record the program of their choice by being anyplace outside their homes, through their smartphone, which the Set Top Box at home will execute. After being recorded, it can be viewed on the Set Top Box or transferred to be watched elsewhere.
For workaholics who work for shifts together and do not have time to go home, sit idle or even sleep for days together this gadget is definitely going to help. It has been launched keeping in mind the crying need of the working population. It is a first of its kind in our nation and no doubt people are going to love it. Kudos to the smart folk for coming up with an innovation like this. Just have a look at this video and tell me that you’re not impressed.
Needless to mention the power that internet has to transform lives, every single person among us craves for a network that meets our demands for speed, quality, flexibility and reliability. I am glad that finally I can rest my quest for such a network, now that Airtel 4G has arrived. In today’s scenario where breakneck speed is a necessity to match up with our daily requirements, there is no compromising with the access to a flawless network. As a student pursuing B.Tech in Mechanical Engineering my academic competence has much to do with regular updates of information regarding the recent trends and technologies being introduced in the field of mechanical engineering. We are assigned projects to work on, journals to read, seminars to deliver and so on.For excelling in each of the activities we indulge in, access to a super-fast network without any impediment becomes relevant. Waiting not only becomes frustrating but is out of the options now. Every second of our time is paramount. A small effort which may however seem insignificant may literally turn out a million dollar achievement.There is a revolution going on in the field of education.Learning has achieved dimensions no one had ever imagined before. With the introduction of e-learning the students are feeding their curiosity well. Internet is no doubt the urgent need of the students who see no limits. Most of us want to be proficient not just in our field of study but in as many spheres as we can. Versatility and genius together define the success of a student these days. Speaking from my personal perspective computer aided Mechanical Engineering is something every student must excel in order to be called a proficient engineer. This is because the manufacturing industry has witnessed a tremendous modernization in technology and is now preferring Computer Aided Designing and Computer Aided Machining for better productivity and efficiency.Automation (CAD/CAM) involves all the processes of conceptualizing, designing, analyzing, prototyping and actual manufacturing with the assistance of computers. There are numerous CAD/CAM software that we need to learn and use. PTC Creo for 3D modelling and manufacturing simulation, Autocad, CATIA, Solidworks, Solid Edge Drafting, and ANSYS for Finite Element Analysis. Doing courses at training centers is restricting and time taking. In such situations internet comes to rescue. There are umpteen websites that provide distant learning for such technical courses. There is flexibility of learning as many courses as u wish in a limited period of time. The learning aided by video lectures makes the process nonetheless more interesting and nonpareil. Learning becomes fun and even makes you a tech-addict if you have the access to a network that provides no hindrance in your journey of adding knowledge and experience in accordance with your keenness and zeal to excel. So break the chains and say a straight NO to anything that holds you back, most importantly the network that does not provide you the service you deserve. It is high time we start exploiting the best that we can access and change our lives altogether.