Perhaps Death Can Give Me What Life Could Not!
Soaked in the ceaseless rain
Pouring heartlessly from the endless horizon
Stretching far beyond my eyesight
I stand here watching the tides rise and fall
Allowing the painfully icy breeze to splash on my face
With the hopeless illusion as of washing away my pain.
My soul has been tired of being haunted by
The same livid sentiments
Trying every now and then to suffocate me to death.
All these years it has been crying, wailing, pleading me to let go of it.
But here I stand,
Still feeling your hold on my limbs,
Begging your invisible presence
Refuge to my tortured heart.
I dig my nipped fingers into the temples
Trying to ease the throbbing and pain
And drive away the confusion as of
Whether it is your intense love or immense hatred
That keeps us apart.
As I lift my eyes and stretch my sight
To the far visible divide
Where the still sky meets the stirred sea,
I see your face emerging out of the blues
Radiating an abundance of vitality,
Yet marked with grief.
Unconsciously I’ve started chanting your name
And my frame seems to be dissolving
As I walk through the soothing salty water
Allowing my waist to delicately cut through the waves.
As the night lapsed in peace and harmony
And the dawn breaks,
My moist eyes transfixed at you doubt my heart’s command
For what sorrowful eyes you fixed upon me!
I know you want me to live more
But tell me what life it is
Where my own soul condemns me,
My own conscience asks to dig a grave and bury myself alive
My own thoughts deny
to converse with me anymore
For they know it was the heartless, brutal, inhuman ME
Who sent you to that far off land.
How tranquilizing is the mere feeling of
Getting to listen to you calling out my name
After all these years of killing silence.
As I’m getting closer and closer to your sympathizing face
Floating half in the sea,
Half in the bending belly of the outstretched horizon
I’m recollecting all those brief but precious moments
When even for me life had its gleams of sunshine.
Once again I dream of reliving those moments
Letting your piercing blue eyes slice through me,
Caressing your innocent face,
Slapping you hard for leaving me alone to grieve all these years,
Crying on your shoulders
Allowing all my pain and anguish to flow away with my tears.
Maybe your face is simply an illusion,
Mere trick of the floating clouds
But I no more have the fear of the unknown
For at the bottom of the ocean my frame may stay
But my soul is destined to fly to that far off land where it can find yours.
With the ethereal happiness rushing through my nerves,
My heart is pounding like never before…
Perhaps death can give me what life could not!